Vulva Massage

I often guide couples to connection through genital massage.

And the most recent Vulva Massage on my Couples Touch Course brought up some golden learnings from the group.

What we discovered:
– Touch without expectation is precious. 
– We’ve probably never been touched without an agenda before. 
– Vulva touch either giving or receiving isn’t necessarily erotic…and it doesn’t need to be….it can take us elsewhere. 
– Vulva touch which is relaxing is a complete experience in itself. 
– Vulva touch that is arousing doesn’t need to be chased or pursued to go further. 
– Even if we don’t feel up to it initially, we can wait till we’re ‘in it’ to make the decision. if we start we can choose in the moment to pause and breath. 
– Giving can be meditative. 
– Even if we’re aroused when giving, that doesn’t mean our touch or intention needs to change. 
– Vulva touch isn’t foreplay. 
– Going even slower and taking even longer in one place, without a goal is an interesting exploration. 
– Using our voice and communicating instead of being passively ‘done to’ is a helpful invitation. 
– Sticking to the map of the structure means we can’t get it ‘wrong’ and we can relax into giving. 
– We can be surprised at what we feel during the practice and it’s usually not what you expect. 
– Whatever our experience in the moment is completely valid for us. 
– We don’t need to perform for our partners or try to get anywhere when receiving Vulva touch. 

Of course – these also apply to penis massage, which we also cover on my couples courses.

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