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About You

WHO I
WORK WITH​

Pleasure stokes our inner-fire. That fire is healing, growth, intimacy, self-acceptance, motivation, deep self-love, creativity and connection with yourself and what you put out into the world. I work with individuals, and couples of any gender and sexual orientation.

When a man stands in his authentic sexual power, it impacts every area of his life:

  • He feels stronger, more alert and more assertive;
  • Experiences greater depths of pleasure;
  • Is more at home in his body;
  • Becomes a more vibrant lover;
  • Works with his life force energy and is connected with the Power House within;
  • Honours his sensuality, softness and vulnerability, as well as his power;
  • Is confident, self aware and loving with himself and others;
  • Is more in control of his life and clearer about his purpose;
  • Lives in loving service to his partner / family / work / community from a place of fullness and fulfilment.

In my coaching and bodywork sessions we work together to create the conditions for you to re-discover authenticity in your sexual expression:

 

ACCEPTANCE

I welcome all of you. Together we create a safe space where you can open and be intimately in touch with parts of yourself you may not have met yet. Letting go of guilt and shame about your body and about sex. Overcoming negative societal programming and conditioning. Moving beyond performance-based pleasure: people pleasing, comparison, feelings of inadequacy, and low confidence.

 

BODY LOVE

Connecting deeply to your whole body. Gently noticing any patterns of disconnect. Tuning into the subtle sensations that the over-stimulation of daily life can drown out. Getting to know your sex centre. Working consciously with your body’s messages and responses enhances your relationship with yourself, including your genitals.

 

PERMISSION

In our sessions you have permission to relax and let go. ‘Being’ instead of ‘doing’ is often new to men in their sexual pleasure. Broadening your palette of sex and pleasure beyond external or visual stimuli. Letting go of the tension and goal and expand into the richness of sensation-based pleasure. Rapid ejaculation (pre-mature ejaculation) and erectile dissatisfaction (erectile dysfunction) diminish as the body’s capacity to feel expands and extends.

 

CONFIDENCE

Getting to know and trust yourself and your responses. Expanding your awareness around arousal, erections, orgasm and ejaculation. Knowing you can satisfy women. Learning practical techniques and ways to touch. Learning how to separate orgasm from ejaculation (ejaculation control). Growing into a secure masculinity and a new way to be with your sexuality, body and partners.

 

INTIMACY

Exploring ways you can generate intimacy and connection, aside from sex. Learning how to talk with or be with women. Feeling respected, listened to and fully received by yourself and partners. Taking responsibility for your own experience. Practising ways to co-generate safety, consent and boundaries. Inviting in warmth, touch and closeness and expanding into a pleasure-filled life!

How would it feel to embody your most authentic sexual self and feel your vitality radiating out across your whole life?

A woman who has stepped into her full power:

  • Inhabits, respects and loves her body;
  • Makes space in her life for herself and honours her own self care and pleasure first;
  • Allows herself long, luxurious sensual experiences that allow her body to open into a state of bliss in its own slow, sweet time;
  • Has confidence and creative curiosity with exploring her partner's body;
  • Experiences her genitals as the Sacred Power House they are;
  • Expresses her desires and boundaries and her authentic ‘yes’ and ‘no’;
  • Meets life with an abundance of life-force energy;
  • Can give generously to her family and work, without feeling depleted;
  • Unashamedly shines as she shares herself and her gifts with the world;
  • Cultivates satisfying, nourishing and meaningful relationships;
  • Contributes to a happier society in which fulfilled women generously love, support and raise one another up.

Together we gently and safely explore ways you can feel more confident and comfortable in your body and sexual expression. I can help you move beyond embodied trauma, negative conditioning and unhealthy patterns that limit your expansion and pleasure in sex and in life.

 

ACCEPTANCE

Welcoming all of you. Letting go of guilt and shame about your body and about sex. Feeling reassured that there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with you, or your desires and responses. Overcoming negative societal programming and conditioning. Opening up to who you really are.

 

BODY LOVE

Getting to know your body’s most intimate and sensitive places. Listening to and following the wisdom of your body’s responses. Gently re-claiming your body after childbirth, surgery or abuse. Working with the nervous system using trauma-informed techniques. Releasing the numb parts and the tender places. Working with the breath to generate lifeforce and sexual energy. Cultivating a closer relationship with your sex. Reconnecting heart and yoni. Tuning into your menstrual health and the gifts of the female cycle.

 

PERMISSION

Letting go of expectation and softening into sensation. Gently expanding your capacity to feel and receive pleasure, without guilt or goal. Allowing yourself to surrender to the exquisiteness of subtle energy that is cultivated through fine, unrushed touch. Exploring your eroticism independent of partners - discovering what really turns you on. Entering full bodied orgasmic energy states.

 

CONFIDENCE

Expanding your knowledge around your intricate body and its pleasure pathways. Knowing more about what you need from your partners. Learning practical techniques and ways to touch your partner. Finding your voice and a language for expressing your needs and desires, and asking your partner about their's. Growing into a confident and desirable woman and a vibrant lover.

 

INTIMACY

Exploring how to generate authenticity, trust and openness when relating. Living in choice rather than obligation. Taking responsibility for your own experience and expectations. Feeling heard and respected. Practicing ways to co-generate safety, consent and boundaries within sexual encounters. Experiencing satisfying and meaningful relationships.

Seeing a couple flourish in their relationship is such a joyful and fulfilling aspect of my work. Through working with couples I have observed how a more satisfying sex life brings greater happiness, fulfilment and ease into all aspects of relating.

Perhaps your relationship feels like it’s stuck in a rut sexually or emotionally? Or perhaps you would simply like to explore some new ways of being intimate together in a safe and held space?

When we work together I hold the space and make the suggestions – so you can feel safe to express your needs and desires as individuals in a way that also nurtures your relationship.

 

PERMISSION

Co-creating a non-judgmental space of openness and acceptance. Breaking with the usual routine, escaping the usual roles. Feeling safe enough to take off the well-worn masks. Seeking and discovering one other afresh. Reigniting curiosity and finding new ways to touch and explore each other’s bodies.

 

PLEASURE

Following new pathways to pleasure. Overcoming low sex drive and shutdown. Developing a new tool kit - learning new practical techniques and ways of being together playfully, sexually and intimately. Discovering a more diverse sexual palette and expanding into greater orgasmic potential, individually and together.

 

INTIMACY

Regaining lost trust and cultivating greater authenticity and vulnerability in your relating. Inviting frank and honest communication. Exploring and expressing desires together. Opening up to each other and sharing deeper sexual and emotional connection. Building a stronger, juicier and more resilient relationship.

“I didn’t think we would ever be able to heal our sex life- this was a last resort. I’m so grateful. Learning new things together has deepened our relationship, and shown us there is always more to experience. Thank you Jem.” CD, May 2019

I believe mothers are the foundation of society.

Pregnancy and new motherhood are often so rich and precious. However motherhood doesn't stop there.  Whilst there is so much advice and support out there on how to be a good parent, there is very little on how to be a sexual being with the new body and new hormones whilst managing the new lifestyle of a parent. Motherhood at every stage can be a time when self-care and body confidence dwindle for women - which can affect health, sexuality, relationships, work and family life. As well as the pressure a busy woman can feel to find her sexiness again to maintain our intimate relationship. I've met so many women who have reported never recovering their sexual selves after childbirth, even after their children have grown and flown.  When we finally have the space for ourselves, how do we start to reclaim our bodies and our pleasure?  Lets not force ourselves or shame ourselves for maybe being too tired, but instead lets learn how to put ourselves first for once.

When we work together I can support you to:

 

BODY LOVE

  • Reclaim your body after birth, and find a deeper and more loving connection with yourself.
  • Gently discover the new landscape of your genitals and your body’s new needs.
  • Re-affirm your nature as a sexual being as well as a functional body.

 

PERMISSION

  • Claim and fiercely maintain the ‘me time’ needed for self-care, self-pleasure and intimacy, throughout motherhood.
  • Let go of any expectations of how sexy you should be and feel, and indeed any external expectations around your own experience as a mother, partner and a sexual being.
  • Reclaim your sexiness as a woman and generate a healthy lifeforce that will empower you and your family as your children grow up.

 

CONFIDENCE

  • Explore the potential of orgasmic birthing if you are pregnant.
  • Feel self-confident and ready for a new life phase as your children fly the nest.
  • Build mutually empowering connections with women outside of parenting.
  • Feel comfortable with your own sexuality in a way that will help you have healthy discussions with your child/ren around sex, pleasure, bodies and boundaries in the future.

 

INTIMACY

  • Re-kindle desire, spontaneity and juiciness within your relationship.
  • Develop the confidence, language and communication skills needed to express your needs, boundaries and desires and generate greater intimacy in your relationship/s.

In 2015 I was diagnosed with Advanced Melanoma, a severe Skin Cancer with Tumours in my brain, lung and lymph nodes. Today I remain cancer free.

A cancer diagnosis is usually a fearful experience for people and their loved ones. The mainstream story around cancer tends to focus on suffering and survival.

Cancer is a serious business. But I don’t believe a fear-filled body and mind work at the optimum vibration for healing. I believe cancer is an opportunity to learn and grow beyond the old habits and ways of being that we have lived by, and to experience more joy and expansion as we become empowered in our body and life.

When we work together I offer hope and reassurance and support you to find strength and choice within your healing journey:

 

BODY LOVE

  • Tuning into your body at ever more subtle levels and listening and responding to the cues it has always offered.
  • Liberating your body from habits and patterns of behaviour that no longer serve.
  • Establishing and tending boundaries in relation to how you and others treat your body.
  • Gently releasing tensions and trauma held within the body that can contribute to physical illness.

 

EXPANSION

  • Including sexual and erotic health as part of the whole spectrum of your physical health.
  • Discovering ways to connect with the incredible Life Force within your body and use it for healing.
  • Allowing stuck emotions to be released so you can move on from stagnation in your energy, relationships and life.

 

EMPOWERMENT

  • Cultivating a mindset based on joy, power and dedication, rather than fear.
  • Stepping into choice and a voice instead of feeling ‘done to’ by professionals.
  • Experiencing greater freedom, ease and choice within your cancer journey and also more generally across your life.

“I feel stronger and more solid in my body.”

Jem offers Bodywork and Coaching for anyone who identifies with the following:
  • Individuals who wish to find new pathways to pleasure
  • Couples who wish to connect more deeply, learning alternative ways of being sexual and sensual together
  • Anxiety around intimacy
  • Negative body image
  • Disconnection from body, too ‘in the head’ which blocks pleasure
  • Low libido / lack of interest or desire in sex ​
  • Performance anxiety, erection or ejaculation dissatisfaction
  • Choice around Orgasm – what holds you back? ​
  • Performance anxiety, erection or ejaculation dissatisfaction
  • Genital pain, numbness or tension
  • Pelvic or genital scarring from surgery and / or childbirth