When I first started researching the alternative ways of self healing from Cancer, coffee enemas kept coming up as a way to boost the liver, cleanse the bowel, remove old toxins and counteract the detox affects you can get from releasing toxins from the system.
Now I was doing everything I could to glide through cancer without suffering, diet change, meditation, even singing to my water and medication, but Coffee Enemas for me that was a step too far. I was not ready to go there.
I had never been one of ‘those girls’ who does bum stuff and I had absolutely no interest in anything or anyone going near my bum. Even though I was Tantric it did not mean I was Access All Areas as many people may assume, and even though I’d had a few Rosetta healing sessions (sometimes called anal mapping /trauma release / de-armouring ) it was still hugely taboo thing for me to think about.
However I knew that the Anus / Rosetta was all about Base Chakra stuff – issues around Home, security, money, foundation, and that it was a important basis to a solid standing in life. So too tight an anus and you’re tight with money or stuck in a rut. Too loose and you have very little stability in the world and not enough boundaries. So taboo or not, I knew the anus healing was important, therefore I can only believe that those sometimes uncomfortable, sometimes joyous and sometimes hilarious Tantra sessions were setting me up to get up close and personal with my own arse and what it contained.
After brain surgery in Thailand where I had been under aesthetic for 8 hours, it took a long while for my body to fully wake up and function properly. I read somewhere that the bowels are the last thing to come round. So I didn’t have a poo till about a week after surgery. After experiencing having to ‘manually evacuate’ myself and having 3 nurses witness the plight, I had busted any shame I had around my bodily functions.
However even this experience put me in good stead for continuing my Cancer healing. I had been left with a sham-free arse now and putting things up it almost became a blooming hobby (for healing purposes I should state for the record. Suppositories and then enemas.)
So I’d gone from a prudish ‘Oh no I don’t do that sort of thing, Thank you’, to inviting my friends to ‘Dust off your coffee grinder and come join me for my enema weekender’.
My Self Healing started in October 2015, and I didn’t start Coffee Enemas till May 2016, even though they were recommended to do every day whilst detoxing and self healing from Cancer. It wasn’t till I met a man called Pat, who was only given 2 months to live from terminal prostate cancer in his 50’s, and the way he spoke about coffee enemas in such a matter of fact way and that they’d been so important to him in his process, that I started to listen. I read about the process and the reasons behind it, but practically I just didn’t have a clue. How the hell was I going to make coffee and put it up my bum? I needed a step by step guide! So I found a Pat.
So there I was one evening I found myself stood in the coffee aisle in Tesco’s, talking to Pat in Ireland on the phone about the best coffee to use up your bum and the correct temperature of which to deploy it at. Angles and timings also contemplated probably louder than required. Hushed tones has never been a gift I possess, in fact a boyfriend once said ‘I’m sure you speak louder on the phone than you do face to face’. So looking at the array of coffee on offer I had a good chuckle to myself as I chose ‘Lively Latino’ to stick up my bum (organic obviously).
I decided to carve out 3 uninterrupted days to have what I called my Coffee Enema party, which also involved a technology fast alongside a juice cleanse and fast.
I was aware that I wouldn’t be leaving the house for those 3 days as my energy levels may be abit low but also due to the fear I may need to be close to a toilet at all times, but this also allowed me to drop deeper into the healing and nurturing aspect of the Coffee Enema weekend. However I did end up letting people know I’d be in all weekend doing enemas and would appreciate some company, suddenly I had 4 different friends come to stay and visit me for the weekend, and keep me company as I fasted and juiced as they cooked and ate together. It was a great shame busting exercise. I even had a male friend help me set up and witness my first ever enema, which was incredibly beautiful for me. I’d never felt the inside of my own guts before and as the coffee flowed into me I could feel the stream making its way round my insides and I felt stuff shifting from inside me. Very clearly could feel things becoming ‘unstuck’ form my innards. I felt innocent and child like and a real sense of relief and something leaving my body which was very old and no longer served me. I put some beautiful music on and chanted and meditated my way through the 15 minutes of keeping the enema inside of myself with my friends hand on my shoulder, comforting me. It could have been a scary or isolating experience otherwise so it was just serendipity that he was there…I had no idea I’d be sharing that sort of experience with anyone. The next morning, he arrived again for another visits and this time brought his own coffee, wanting ‘a go’.
I also became massively creative and playful during this weekend. The anus or ‘Rosetta’ is all about the Base Chakra which deals with issues surrounding our core foundation, our right to belong on this planet, our security and our money stuff. If we’re still carrying old shit from over 10 years ago around inside us everywhere we go, no wonder we can become stuck and stagnant, blocking our creative flow to the new fresh beliefs which can help us move forward in life.
I had never done anything like this before, given myself 3 days just entirely to my own healing- laptop and phone off, just space to ‘be’ without doing any chores or tasks. Nothing planned but just to stay present. I was allowing myself to totally be with whatever came up and made space for writing, and chanting, meditating and juicing. It was truly amazing the effect it had on me, just an overspilling of pure joy. This time allowed me to go abit lunatic, like a crazy creative hermit writer. Suddenly it would come over me to just get up and dance, or clap my hands, and create mini videos for potentially future blogging of my experience. I enjoyed seeing my slightly insane creative behaviour and allowing the chaos. Not trying to control it, not allowing my inner-critique get involved telling me to sit down and stop being silly. I didn’t care about the outcome of my actions, I just wanted to create. I recognised as a creative that in the past one huge block for me with my creativity was the fact I was a perfectionist. I wanted all my creative projects and outcomes to be perfect- whether that was singing a song or painting a picture, I wanted it to be the best it could be, but the fear that it would never achieve that high standard actually just stopped me from trying. Instead of allowing myself to just do it and make mistakes and learn from those mistakes I had been blocking myself for years. Somehow the Coffee Enema party allowed me to play with my creativity with the same carefree attempts of a child, one who doesn’t care about colouring in the lines as it’s the process of creating that they are gaining from, not the finished goal or outcome. A very tantric approach to creativity. A non-goal orientated exercise and staying present in the joy you gain from the moment instead of always trying to strive for something better or bigger
At no point during the juice fast did I feel hungry, the 2 hourly juices alternating from red to green juice just gave me the nutrients I needed. The only struggle was the mental hunger. The brain telling me should be hungry. It was definitely a mind over matter experience.
When I did my first Coffee enema weekend I just felt so energised and elated I wanted to advise everyone to do it…. however when people complained to me of constipation or gut issues (as many people did seek my advice during my self-healing) they would recoil if I suggested coffee enemas. But then the 2nd time I had a coffee enema party 4 months later, it seems the idea had sunk in a little bit and suddenly I had messages from numerous friends all wanting to know more and find out the practicalities of how you’d go about setting it up.
I have since scheduled Coffee Enema Manifesting parties at mine, ready to release the old and make space for manifesting the new.